Secrecy

“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” –  Matthew 6:6

In the discipline of secrecy we do not allow our good deeds or qualities to be known by others. The goal is to be involved in ministry, or some form of giving of ourselves, without others knowing what we are doing.

The practice of this discipline will have many powerful results in our life. It teaches us to be secure in only God knowing what we are doing. This security makes us less dependent on the thoughts or approval of others. Dallas Willard says, “as we practice this discipline, we learn to love to be unknown and even to accept misunderstanding without the loss of our peace, joy, or purpose.”

People pleasing, or what is sometimes called approval addiction, is a major problem in the church today. John Ortberg describes this addiction more fully:

Some people live in bondage to what others think of them. The addiction takes many forms. If we find ourselves often getting hurt by what others say about us, by people expressing other than glowing opinions about us, we probably have it. If we habitually compare ourselves with other people, if we find ourselves getting competitive in the most ordinary situations, we probably have it. If we live with a nagging sense that we aren’t important enough or special enough, or we get envious of another’s success, we probably have it. If we keep trying to impress important people, we probably have it. If we are worried that someone might think ill of us should he or she find out we are an approval addict, we probably are.

The discipline of secrecy is a vaccine that targets this pervasive disease. It helps us build our security in what God thinks of us, rather than what others think of us.

There is a lot of hiding that goes on in God’s world. Isaiah speaks of God as a “hidden God.” In the ultimate sense, if God were not hidden, human life could not go on. The Bible is an objective witness to things that do not happen every day. God is hidden and his people are hidden. The discipline of secrecy is a discipline of hiddenness.

1. One of the easiest ways to practice this discipline is to do something kind for someone anonymously. You might send someone in need some money. You can also buy something for them and have it delivered. The key is to be sure that they do not know who is doing it.
   
2. Another way to practice this discipline is to participate in some form of ministry without telling anyone what you have done. You might choose to visit a rescue mission or a convalescent hospital, just to be with people who are hurting. After you have given of yourself this way, be sure that no one finds out what you have done.
   
3. A more difficult assignment is to secretly do something kind for someone who has recently criticized you or excelled beyond you. This will directly attack the presence of any approval addiction.